The Ticklish Matter Of Testing Myself

KNOW THYSELF, a poet exhorted. Because looking at my reflection might be tantamount to molesting the mirror, I deemed it wiser to subject myself to an online objective analysis to see what sort of animal my personality might peek-a-boo at me. So one tense afternoon when the deadlines felt like a cabal of monkeys nestling on my head, I allowed myself to kill time with the Enneagram Test at http://web.tickle.com. What the ancient science of personality says about you, or so Tickle.com took me by the tail.

"Uncovering the complex mysteries of personality isn't just a modern fascination. For centuries, mystics, Jesuit priests, psychologists, and social scientists have studied the ancient personality typology known as the Enneagram. The Enneagram identifies people as one of nine distinct personality groups — groups that were developed to describe the whole human experience," states Tickle. "Understanding where you fit into the Enneagram's typology can provide the key to gaining new insight into your core motivations and attitudes. It can also unlock the secrets to better relationships with others. Take the Enneagram Test now to find out more about what makes you tick and fuels your opportunities for love and success."

After breezing through 46 questions, here goes the verdict:

Myke, you're a Type 9: The Negotiator

"Friends, family, and colleagues likely appreciate this unpretentious way about you and admire the good-natured approach you can take to relationships and life in general. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you can be counted on to be reassuring and patient. As a Negotiator, you're likely to be seen as a good moderator and communicator who emphasizes finding equitable, amicable resolutions to problems.

Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Whoopi Goldberg, a champion of progressive social causes, and the late Jim Henson, an inspirational dreamer and world-renowned puppeteer, are also Type 9s.

This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of inner peace and stability that drives you to resolve conflicts, or potential conflicts, in your path. You're someone who can probably be committed to healing yourself and others while balancing yourself with a happiness that comes from life's simple pleasures."

Won't it be nifty if someone from the United Nations get to read this?